Mitt Romney is a douche

Mitt Romney laughs as he watches poor people fight each other to the death for food.

This afternoon, footage recorded surreptitiously at a private fundraiser for Romney was released and it confirmed what many have suspected for months, if not years: Mitt Romney is a douche. Today, America got a chance to see the real Mitt. For perhaps the first time this campaign season, he sounded genuine, almost human even. Cracking  jokes about how much easier this whole election thing would be if he were Mexican ('Cause life is always easier in this country for brown people!) Just a guy chillin' with a room full of people that have $50,000 each to drop on dinner and a chit-chat. His kind of people. These people were not the least bit disgusted when the man who wants to be the next President of this republic comes right out and says 47% of its citizens are free-loading fuck-ups. 47% of us are apparently entirely dependent on government hand-outs and for that reason, and that reason alone, we will be voting for Obama. Yes, we are all sitting around high on government cheese, too stupid to realize that things would be way better if Mitt Romney were in the White House. If someone would just pry that fat government teat out of our mouths, perhaps we wouldn't be such listless fucking losers. I mean the only reason we have that shit job at Walmart is so we can make next to nothing, so we can qualify for food stamps. We could totally have our parents buy us a house and put us through college like real, honest, hard-working Americans (looking at you Mittens), but where's the fun in that? We love our luxurious lives where we make $20,000 a year and don't have to pay any federal income tax (those other taxes we pay obviously don't count because someone said so at some point or something). That's way better than, um, I don't know....let's say making millions off capital gains and paying an effective tax rate of around 14%.